Letter Eight: Girls Get Put in the "Friend Zone" Too

Okay, so I'm sure most people have heard men complain about that awful no-man's-land known as the "Friend Zone;" what was a promising relationship (or even the promise of a romp in the sack) somehow at some point in time got off track, and the girl in question has put a guy in a platonic category, dooming him forever to "lunch dates" and having to listen to her stories of other men. It is a loathsome circumstance for all who have experienced it.

But here's the thing: Women get put in the "Friend Zone" too. Some females just seem to get stuck in that non-romantic, non-sexual category that is akin to a sister. And it is no less loathsome to women as it is to men. Why am I blogging about this? Well, it seems my dearest of readers, that I have once again (for the umpteenth time) been stuck in the limbo of "Friend Zone" territory.

Those close to me know that I was with the same guy from 2003 until 2010, and I was engaged. I have moved on and started dating again (the perils of dating again after most of my adolescence was spent with one man could fill up pages and pages of blog posts). Most recently I dated a guy from NY who moved here in August. This guy is gawjus (sound it out). I mean, I couldn't believe my luck when this guy asked me out, because I personally think I have few redeeming qualities in the looks department. After a few amusing incidents where we weren't able to go out, we finally managed dinner and a movie. And the steamiest make out session I've ever had as an adult. On our second date, I made a big mistake, something so totally uncharacteristic of me, it had me scratching my head and wondering if I had regressed to a teenager (I'm sure if you think about it, you can guess what that mistake was). And immediately afterwards, I knew something was wrong. Apparently he forgot to disclose that he had just gotten out of a relationship at the end of July (which is why he moved here) and I was the first person he had dated since then.

I should have listened to all of those sirens and alarms going off in my head, as earlier this year, I dated a guy who had just gotten divorced not long before (he forgot to mention to me how recently-divorced he was), and after two months of dating, he decided he wasn't ready. I do not like being the rebound girl. It kind of pisses me off, actually.

Well, being the intelligent being that I am, I decided to ignore the warning bells, and even though he told me not to fall for him, guess what I did? That's right, I fell head over heels for the sucker. And then I proceeded to royally screw things up. Let's just say the word "crazy" was used and he told me to never contact him again.

You'd think that would be the end of this little tale, but I got a text from him Monday night. He wanted someone to talk to, and he said he remembered that I seemed to be a good person. He was having some drama with his best friend. We ended up talking for hours, and then he said he had nowhere to stay. Being the big softy I am, I offered to let him crash on the couch. Well, he has now crashed on my couch two different nights, and has been talking to me ever since. The only problem: I'm now firmly in the friend zone.

Do you know how hard it is to watch someone you're so attracted to sleep on your couch? *sigh* I guess us women can be pretty stupid when we want to be.